7 Reasons Why I’ll Never Get My Hot Little Hands On An Olympic Medal!

We are currently in England. Wasting time sitting around relaxing and visiting with the family. Watching the Olympic Games on TV.

Staying up late and getting up later.

Not really the stuff that people who win Olympic Medals tend to do!!

So here’s my top 7 reasons why I’ll never get my hands on an Olympic Medal of any colour!

  1. I’m not really a morning person! Olympic medallists seem to be early risers! Take swimmers. They get up early and train, most then go off to work and then more training in the afternoon. I’m definitely a night owl. The thought of a 4am swim in the cold and dark makes me want to actually drown myself!
  2. I’m a bit too social! I spend WAY too much time talking. Ever heard that term – “She could talk underwater?” That’s me!! Gold Medal swimmers can’t really chat as they swim lap after lap after lap (well maybe if they are a backstroker!) While others are out training, I’m checking my facebook, twitter and email! In fact I’d probably break some of those strict Olympic rules about tweeting inappropriate stuff! Or using the Olympic Rings trademark incorrectly!!
  3. I complain while doing exercise! My workmates can vouch for this. During our lunch time walks I generally moaned the entire way. “My feet hurt”, “I’m sweaty”, “Can we take a shortcut?”, “Who chose this hill?” were all commonly heard. Granted this was mostly to get a laugh but my favourite was “Someone call the ambulance to take us back!” (I used that today when we were walking up a giant hill in Brighouse!)
  4. I break bones with great skill! I broke my tailbone some years back with a very minor bounce down the stairs. On this occasion I actually did get to go in an Ambulance – let me tell you it’s not all it’s cracked up to be when you’re the injured party! On our last walk in our lunchbreak I broke a small bone in my ankle and had to be driven back to work. That was my punishment for all the ambulance remarks!! (But I finally got a ride in the middle of the walk after years of trying!)
  5. I always feel someone else needs it more than me! I generally apply this theory to theft (if he stole my ipod he really must need it more than me) but it can be applied to Olympic Gold Medals too. I’d have a really tough time kicking someone else’s ass if I knew they desperately wanted/needed that medal to change their life. I’d have to compete against nasty people in every race to have any chance to get anywhere, otherwise we’d soon be friends and I’d be letting them win! (Assuming I had got anywhere near that level in the first place – which I wouldn’t – refer item 1!!)
  6. I like to have my finger in several pies. Anyone who is going to contribute to the Olympic Medal Tally for their country must have laser focus! I’d want to train for swimming, archery and handball just to keep myself amused. And we all know a jack of all trades usually doesn’t prosper! (Actually no-one can really want to train for handball can they? It’s the wierdest game I’ve seen that somehow made it into the Olympics!)
  7. There are no Olympic Medals given out for eating at McDonalds! If there were I would have so many medals that I’d be able to sell a few and cash in!! Althought travelling for the last six months has cured me of my McDonalds addiction, I still love a piping hot Big Mac occasionally! It warms my heart that that McDonalds is an Olympic sponsor! Last time I went on a really strict diet McDonalds had to close branches!!

So there’s my list of the reasons I’ll never get my own shiny Olympic Medal.

I let you off all the other reasons – i.e no-one is getting me into those tiny outfits, I’d have to be awake more than 8 hours a day to excel at something other than blogging, everyone knows hockey sticks really hurt when they bash you in the shins, I’m too lazy to go up that big step to the gold medal podium…..etc, etc, etc……!

Despite all that I’m pleased to see Great Britain has shot up the medal tally today from 10th to 3rd! Even though they aren’t my first choice to follow in the Olympics I always love the host nation to do well.

I’m sure all my cheering from the couch and my bed have helped the teams along!!

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7 Reasons Why I’ll Never Get My Hot Little Hands On An Olympic Medal! — 2 Comments

    • Hmmm…can I suggest putting some of that hard earned cash aside. Then signing up for hockey!! Teeth are a really lame reason not to participate!! Go for it!!

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